Common California Divorce Mistakes

Gordon Family Law is committed to educating clients and we want to share some common mistakes we see early in the divorce process so you can avoid making them.

(1)  Making a deal with your spouse about splitting your assets or debts without seeing all the financial information in front of you. If your spouse has always handled all of the financial decisions in your household and you don’t have any information about you and your spouse’s income and assets, your spouse could have an unfair advantage over you when it comes time to settle the financial issues in your divorce.  Make sure you accurately gather all the documents before you agree to any final decision.

(2)  Hiring a lawyer who promises you that they will “win”. As we all know, there is no winning in divorce – generally divorce is the result of many years of consideration and is often a very sad event. A thoughtful divorce attorney will explain that the best outcome for a successful mediation or divorce is to walk about thinking “that wasn’t so bad,” meaning that both parties had to make concessions but they have walked away with primarily what they need.

(3) Tax considerations. Divorce and any property division have potentially huge IRS tax implications.  If you are dividing real property or retirement accounts – please consider talking to a tax consultant or accountant about your divorce. The rules about filing separately or single can impact your taxes in the years after a divorce.

(4) Believing your children will be better with you than they are with your ex.  Divorce is hard on children, but not as hard as you may expect. Children are usually as happy as their most unhappy parent. What that means is that unless there is evidence, meaning CPS reports or a police record, fighting over children is expensive and rarely successful.  We are strong believers in co-parenting and working together with your ex to create logical plans for raising children in separate homes.

(5) Not taking care of yourself. Divorce is one of the most stressful events, besides maybe the loss of a loved one. In the next few months, it’s important to carve out some time for yourself as you go through a divorce. Re-connect with free activities you enjoy – like walking outside, gardening, hiking, and talking on the phone with friends.  If you need suggestions, I am happy to send you a picture of my labradoddle, Griffin.