Five Tips for Divorcing Parents

Divorce is never easy on kids, but there are many ways parents can help lessen the impact of their break-up on their children:

1. Never disparage your former spouse in front of your children. Children know they are "part mom" and "part dad" and the criticism hurt your child’s self-esteem.

2. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Do everything within your power to accommodate the visitation as frequent and continuous contact is required by law. 

3. If you are the non-custodial parent, pay your child support. The loss of income facing many children after divorce puts them at a financial disadvantage that impacts them for the rest of their lives.

4. If you are the custodial parent and you are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. Conversations about scarcity can feed a child's sense of abandonment and further erodes their stability.

1. If at all possible, do not uproot your children. Stability in their home and school life helps shield children from the trauma of their parent's divorce.

How do I stop child support or get visitation rights on a child I’ve never seen and mother refuses to allow me?

Bay Area Family Law attorneys will tell clients that unfortunately, whether or not you get visitation and contact with your child and child support are unrelated.  You will need to pay child support until your child is 18. If your co-parent is not cooperating in terms of visitation, you may need to file in court for an enforcement order. 

Learn about Contempt and how to file for contempt

Learn more about Child Support and Child Custody by clicking the categories below. 

What happens if I pay my child's uninsured health care costs?

Experienced Bay Area Family Law attorneys will tell clients that if they want to receive reimbursement that under California Family Code § 4063 (b) a parent who accrues or pays a child's uninsured health care costs must provide the other parent with an itemized statement of those costs within a reasonable time, not to exceed 30 days.

Is my speculative bonus income used for a child support calculation?

No. This is different than Ostler/Smith Orders. Under California Family Code Section 4508, speculative bonus income – such as the potential to make a large commission at the end of the year, cannot be included in income used for calculations of spousal and child support. This is because a court may not base monthly support amount on predicted receipt of large bonus that may never materialize.

Other types of money that cannot be included as income are: Student Loans not used for books and tuition and Life insurance death benefits.

However, Gordon Family Law does not advise that you hide all your cash in speculative bonuses or student loans to avoid payments. Why? Because even if the Court rules that a certain category of income is not includable as gross income for the purposes of calculating guideline support, a party can ask the court to deviate from the guideline based on the income received as a “special circumstance,” which would allow the court to increase child or spousal support. 

What is “income” for the purpose of child and spousal support?

Child and Spousal Support calculations are one of the most complicated issues in a divorce.  California Family Code Section 4508 governs how income is calculated for the purpose of support.

Before spousal support or child support can be calculated, each party must disclose their income on an Income and Expense Declaration (FL 150), one of the most crucial forms in your child support case. Calculating support may be as simple as looking at a paycheck stub, but if the party makes income from a variety of sources, be sure to contact a family law attorney to help you run a Dissomaster account because the calculations can actually be sophisticated and complicated.

The Court has wide discretion when determining what is income for the purposes of support and has included benefits and here are some examples of income used for support calculations under Family Code 4508 that you may not expect:

·       Commissions

·       Royalties

·       Bonuses (Marriage of Ostler/Smith)

·       Rents

·       Dividends

·       Pensions

·       Interest

·       Trust income

·       Annuities

·       Social Security benefits

·       Military allowances for housing and food

·       The value of company car

·       Subsidized housing as income. 

·       Re-occurring gifts

I often talk with clients who remember generous relatives who gave annual gifts of $14,000 to their grandchildren and children. If those gifts have not been included on the FL – 150, you should make sure that the other parent discloses these gifts on the income and expense declarations as reoccurring and regular monetary gift from a payer’s parents are income for the purpose of support.

Want to learn more about what is NOT included for support payments? Click here to read about what is not considered income under California Family Code Section 4508.

When does a court look at my ex’s ability to earn to calculate support?

Is my speculative bonus income used for a child support calculation?